heart don't fail me

What a month.

This coming weekend I will have participated in 4 funerals in between my birthday and anniversary. On top of these I had the responsibility of beginning to write reviews on my employees and one of them decided not to be a good worker and so I helped her leave early. I helped a friend at work move. I am also teaching a class at church "how to study the Bible" (which has been a really fun class to teach).

But the other night I started feeling the affect of all this stress on my body. I could actually hear my hearbeat pounding loudly as I "lay me down to sleep". I didn't know what else to do to calm it down and figured it would go away soon. It didn't ... it stayed with me for a while. I really was concerned about it but didn't want to share it with anyone, just wanted to listen more. I figured it was because of the stress.

It did get me thinking. I thought of what would happen if my life were to end at that moment ... which is funny because I usually don't think these thoughts (but kid my wife about thinking these and even call her "Morbideth").

Being dead sure would be different (understatement).

I don't want to go now, I believe there is more to do that is unfinished. I have dreams that I would love to fulfill.

Like shaping our men's ministry (now that I am the Director)
I also would love to be involved in a churc plant at least once in my life.
I want to see my girls marry godly men and grow in their faith.
I want to grow old and senile with my wife.
I want to see all of my friends and family choose Jesus.
I want to be an affective and valuable employee at work.

Lots of things so little time.

Jesus guide me.